The Whole Truth

(Rembrandt - Raising of the Cross)

Recently, I have been convicted of the way I am choosing to live my life. Most of it has to do with the fact that my heart is arrogant and proud, and deep down - really deep down - I believe (and live like) I deserve all that I have AND more. That's right... I just said that. It's not easy to confess or type this for the whole world to see. I don't share this with a cavalier attitude.

If my heart and perspective were founded in Truth, I would be humble. I would generously give of all that I have. I would not worry about security or tomorrow or whether or not the I had the remote to the t.v. and if the pillows on the bed were put on in proper order and fashion. It would be natural for me to speak kindness. I would share the love of Christ with all that I encountered .... in word and deed.

It all started to sink in a few days ago when I was listening to a podcast of a local pastor. First, he said (and I'm not really quoting, I'm paraphrasing) something that I have heard multiple times growing up in the church: "If you were the only person on the planet, Christ would still have died for you." And yes, that tiny, proud voice in my head said, "because He loves me." Then, out of nowhere the speaker blindsided me with: "And if you were the only person on the planet, you wouldn't only be the person who shouted 'Crucify Him,' you would be the one who publicly scourged, mocked and crucified Christ - the perfect Lamb of God - with hammer and nails in hand."

This shattered me... in all my perfectly thought out and well deserved entitlements... in the life that I have lived and become satisfied with.

Who am I? The whole truth?

I am the one who raised the cross, not the one who took it down.

I am the one who doesn't like the whole truth, but prays to God that it become an ever present reality in the way I live (and give) my life and that it break and humble me every day.

More Sewing Projects

This is dress number two. Very comfortable. Slightly modified from the pattern. I removed the zippered portion and left it closed to go over the head. It's been a good maternity dress for this hot, hot summer.

This could be considered dress number three. However, I would wear it more as shirt number one. It still requires a little adjusting to the top, but this is pretty much completed. I'm still trying to get the proper measurements and cuts down so that clothes will fit, but each project brings me closer.

I have two more shirts in the works and possibly one more dress (for a wedding), then starts the fun baby stuff. I'm planning on a feeding cover and maybe some bedding. I'll keep posting completed works.

Oh, the fruit!

God continually amazes me!

In a time of life that is so full of change and ripe with new and exciting things, my life has also had a lot of complicated and confusing things going on...

Things that can leave a person feeling wilted, withered and at times not even fruit bearing - meaning having no purpose, no point, no reward/return/growth.

So this being said, about two weeks ago we started to notice the green bulbs on our peach tree were actually getting quite large and turning more yellow than green. Within the last few days, we've picked over a dozen beautiful peaches - and consumed about half of them. Oh so very tasty! These are the first fruits for this tree. Though it can look sad and thirsty some days, it has flourished here with us.

For me, this experience was just a reminder that often times fruit can go unnoticed until it's there. It comes in rainy seasons and dry seasons. It comes when things are going good and when things are going bad. It ALL comes from God, and He is always fruitful.

Below I've attached a few pictures of our pickings and our tree.

Cleaning House!

So, I loath house cleaning. Though I love a clean house. I think the part that I struggle with the most is that it feels like it's a never ending chore. One minute it's clean the next oh so dirty - and the kids aren't even here yet! Really I think most of it is due to our cat, O.W. He loves to leave his hair everywhere. I can spend a half hour sweeping, and less than a minute after I'm done I can see a tumble weed hair roll past me. I'm posting a picture of him so that you can see why we keep him around. He's very handsome. In this picture, he decided he was going to sit in my chair. I walked into the room and couldn't pass up this photo op.

Anyway, back to the topic at hand. I have this dear friend, Stormy, who recently sent me a copy of a book she's been using called "The Naturally Clean Home." She's replacing one cleaning product at a time, as she finishes up what she's already bought. I'm beginning this same journey. We are almost done with our store bought, liquid laundry detergent, and I just bought the ingredients for home made laundry soap. For about $20, I'm anticipating having naturally safe and clean detergent well into next year. I will keep you posted on how I like it, but as of right now, I'm already scoping out supplies for our next "replacement." I had a wood cleaner/pledge substitute highly recommended, but I think I'm going to start with an all purpose cleaner first.

I'm still wanting to post some updates on the new patio, the growing belly and what I've been learning - about being in the home and staying passionate and active in my relationship with God as I'm preparing for this little girl. I'm starting to work on a mission statement, and I'm still working finishing what I start. I also have pictures from our trip to New Mexico. I have to take a picture of where a tree branch decided to fall on our car just minutes after we got out of it. David was lucky it wasn't his head.

Schedules, Plans and Control

Ahhh, I must confess... I love all these things. I am working at giving up more control. I find my "need" for it can make me a not very nice person.
Schedules and plans, however, I love; and I am trying to get better at them. My friend Stephanie recently blogged about how she get's done all she does in a day. It involved planning things out - so of course I loved it.
What her planning lead me to do was to begin making similar plans of my own - using her method and adapting it to my needs.
So I am proud to say that over this last week I have been more productive and consistent than I have been since I quit my job. I manage to find time for my quiet time, extra reading, house projects, house cleaning and more. I am usually ready for bed by the end of the day - but it feels like a full day, and I'm usually ready for the coming day.
This is basically the lists method, with emphasis on prioritizing the daily tasks that need to get done - making them first on the list. Then to continue on and list the tasks that you would like to work on and complete on that day. For me, there are times when tasks get moved to the next day, but not the important ones.
Anyway, I am just really excited about how well this is working for me. I think my husband is not as big a fan, as he is not really a planner - but he can and does appreciate how it changes my day! Especially since he now gets three homemade/cooked meals a day, on most days....
I would also add that even taking time to write this blog is part of my list. I do enjoy writing and sharing thoughts - I'm just not good at taking the time. So I am making the time. I plan to improve and hope to include more well thought out posts along with more pictures as I progress.
Anyway, thanks for sticking with me through this post. I really am very excited about how well this is working for me. For those interested in reading Stephanie's original post, here is the link: www.stephaniecherry.com/2010/06/all-in-days-work.html

Sunday...

So today my husband and I tried out a new church. It's the first time in a while I didn't have a strong "no, thanks" feeling, and we mutually agreed we needed to try it another time or two. We are hoping to make a move to a church closer to home so we can develop a more active community and fellowship.
This past week has been really strange. I'm not even 100% sure how I feel about everything. I spent most of the week at home, I got a lot done... but it still feels like something is/was missing. I haven't even figured out what's missing. It's an unsettling feeling. I'm praying that a quiet day will put things into perspective. I haven't even figured out what all needs to be done this week. Maybe I'm trying to be too productive?
So that wraps up my day and week, I suppose. This is my rambling edition for today. Until my next post.

Getting things done... FINALLY

So I'm happy to say that the nursery is almost entirely cleared of things that do not belong there. There's still somethings that will move, but some will have to wait as things get shifted around and re-arranged to make room.
The cat, O.W., is officially locked out of the room - no more cat hair in there for the next few years... or for as long as we can manage. Wish we could swing something like that for the master bedroom as well.
Soon the walls will be painted and the carpet removed. I will have pictures for you then. I am getting excited!
Next, I'm about one hour and a proofing away from finishing the last paper for my first class. It will be submitted by Friday morning. At which time, I will start to work on my second class after having requested the test for the first.
When I started this post, I thought I had a lot more accomplished. Maybe it's just because these two topped my "to do" list this week - and it's only Thursday. It could also be that I've been wanting to get these two things done for about six months.
Anyway, I'm also just going to point out that this is another post for me. My efforts to find things to share, and to write them out are slowly succeeding... slowly, for sure.
Well that's all for now. Done with procrastinating on that final hour of paper work. See you on the other side, hopefully with an A and pictures of the progress made on the nursery.